happy happy joy joy (:

 so its been quite awhile since i last wrote here! exams are in two days (thursday) and i'm so sian of studying ): i'm sick with a terrible cough that makes me feel so asthmatic that i feel like i might just faint soon ): but amidst all the mad studying and settling of small stuff here and there from school and cell, a message containing part of the lyrics to a song a friend sent made my night: 

Pray, when the road is steep
Pray, when you're hope gets weak
Know the Father hears through
The silence and the tears you
Pray, when you don't know how
Pray, heaven's waiting now
And Jesus is just a breath away

i dont know this song / never heard of it before, but the lyrics touched my heart so much. i'm reminded once again the importance of praying, and that even though the road ahead seem uncertain / bleak (THURSDAY OMG), God'll make a way when there seem to be none. 

back to level one

on friday night after leaders cell, i discovered the sandfly bites on my legs i've got from batam during leaders advance/bed during camp had become alot worse. i was so scared it was scabies or something more so i went to the doctor's the first thing on saturday morning. 
my doctor went to great lengths to assure me all the additional spots on my abdomen and the apparently worsening spots on my legs were normal and probably at most an allergic reaction. but being me, i was adamant i was suffering from something baddd so my doctor ordered a full blood test to calm me down. hahaha in retrospect, its hilarious. i can totally imagine myself in my doctor's shoes in the future and having paranoid patients who think they're going to die/have some incurable disease/think they know everything (like how i was) coming to see me. 

when it was my turn to have my blood drawn, even though i tried to mentally prepare myself while waiting, i wasnt. this sounds really silly and ironical, but i must admit, i'm really very afraid of needles being stuck into me. to people who are already laughing, STOP LAUGHING. i just have very low pain tolerance for needles (think traumatic pre-braces injection when i had to have anesthesia to extract four teeth). 

so i was sitting down waiting for the nurse to swab my arm, find my vein and stick the needle in. i think i must have had a really painful look on my face because the nurse had to ask me if i was alright. i REFUSED to look at her sticking the needle in (i only managed to gather enough courage to look at my blood flowing into the tube). 

one day later, my arm has a faint bruise and it still feels alittle sore. i never knew drawing blood required so much effort and skill. wow. i'm quite excited once we start m3 in july! we'll get to draw blood, set up IV lines and all. my darling sister has agreed to be my first guinea pig for honing my needling skills in drawing blood and all (: 

on a separate note, got my blood results and i have anaemia. apparently its genetic because my mum and my sisters are too. 
shall go test my blood for thalassemia if i happen to do another blood test. this affects my future and my kids, says the doctor. to the people who do not understand a word ive typed up there, its the wonders of biology (: 

i hope the bruise on my arm subsides ):

  
okay not really, but i got my darling stethoscope today ((((:
very happy, i feel one step closer to becoming a real doctor. 
it makes me excited all over again for clinical years starting june 2010!

CTE at 90km/h and KPE at 70km/h is really therapeutic (: i'm starting to get the hang of driving my dad's car (finally) and my parents are less paranoid when i drive thank God. it has progressed from "CHECK YOUR BLIND SPOT!!!" to "okay you can accelerate abit more"
three months before i can take the car out by myself, i'm really really looking forward to that! in the meanwhile, its the first day of our long awaited three week holidays (((: very very happy, i've been waiting for this for such a long time considering how hard and long we were studying for microb and all. the holidays look busy but i know it'll be good. gonna send the lokun people off at the airport at 7am tomorrow, thank you jell for detouring from ecp to fetch me (((:

zong's puppy is the cutest thing i've seen (:

this week has been quite a week. i'm so glad it ended on a happy note today! this comes alot later than most of my friends like de, jy,kc, zong, sam, kalpy, fruitcake but WOOHOOO i passed driving ((((:
drove my family to ikea for dinner just now, it feels abit surreal actually. driving is very therapeutic seriously.
thank God, to think that a few hours ago, i was really freaking out because 1. i'm sick 2. it was pouring like madd so the roads will be slippery 3. i was so afraid i'll mount a curb or stall or do something stupid. but YAYYY (:
to the people who messaged me, THANK YOU! one ride in my daddy's car (:

the reality that I CAN FINALLY DRIVE is sinking in slowly but surely. but the reality that ca's exactly one week from now is making me -.-
oh yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZONG! we love you :D

------------

pip asked if i wanted to play for OT3 sometime in the first week of feb next year. i really dont know if i should be playing because 1. i'm not as good as all the violinist inside 2. practices are going to be even more than playhouse choir practices 3. its near CA3 4. i dont think i've got the time

ah, but i know it'll be fun! for one, people like oli and lenard are inside! i told pip i'll let him know by tomorrow during lecture. how how HOW ):

my sister's (marianne's) birthday today, we gave her a surprise celebration just now :)
tomorrow will be exciting, i think her classmates are coming over for a surprise just like how my friends came over during my birthday too.
i'm so glad for my sister. even though we do not look alike and everyone thinks i'm lying to them when i say "marianne's my sister" I STILL LOVE HER ALOT (:

( pretty girl! )

 i wake up today with the sun shining on my face, something i havent experience in a long while. for a spilt second, i forget where i am and then reality sinks in when i realise WE'VE WON PLAYHOUSE YESTERDAY! i lay in bed and smiled to myself, thinking back on the past months where we
1. practiced at KE hall with no air condition or ventilation that leaves us all hot but happy nonetheless because we're singing with a bunch of fun people
2. how the melody people like mayue, weilin, shu shan, carmen and i will be the first to stand under any form of ventilation during every practice
3. dinner at holland v XO fish beehoon after practices
4. late night train ride home to pasir ris with jasline
5. full dress rehearsals in school till 9pm
6. massive make up sessions in the toilet with jasline being jell's and my make up guru (: 
7. going into a frenzy because of our white tubes (tube issues as jell calls it)
8. our white togas and halos!
9. and of course, the many many MANY choir practices with lenard, margret, jacklyn and the rest of the awesome choir people

i'm really going to miss all this fun (its time to start studying for CA2 ): )
i'm really so glad i joined choir (jell arnt you too? (: ) i've learnt so much in these few months, made new friends, and really had so much fun singing and perfecting our actions. the memories are really just too indescribable. 

somehow yesterday felt like the times when we had SYF or strings concert all over again. when they announced the results, we practically ran onto stage and everyone started jumping around and hugging everyone. it was a moment i dont think i'll forget in a long while. like SYF times in dunman / RJ when we heard GWH we were so SO HAPPY. and photo taking at UCC foyer after that felt so much like the times we performed at VCH / RJ. we took so many photos (: 

post production party tomorrow at botanical gardens! we'll be going to jell's house to bake first, yay (: 
the next week is set on looking quite good. (: lessons from wednesday till friday!

 even as i'm typing this, i am SO tired that its amazing how i still have the energy to actually blog. but i just showered, was tempted not to but liben threw his smelly uniform on my head after our performance which was smelly and sticky and yuck. so i'm sitting in front of my laptop with the fan blasting behind me in a desperate attempt to dry my hair in the fastest possible time. 

in anycase, WE WON PLAYHOUSE 09! 
we won best lights and sounds (muthu!), best director (yun song, liang en, tharsan and ben soh!), best overall play, best supporting actress (balpreet!), and faculty of medicine shield! 
i cannot reiterate how happy i am (or rather we are) our class of 2013 is really ((((: 
very happy that we won and playhouse is over, a little sad because it means no more rehearsals (no more fun with people like jasline, mayue, wei lin, jenn, lenard, michelle).
so proud of keith and sam who actually came all the way down to support us! had dinner/supper at adam's road which was good (: 

okay i'm going to sleep now, goodnight
i love our entire playhouse group, especially our angelic choir yay(:

this took ten minutes to type, its in random disjointed sentences, but nonetheless understandable (i hope)
photos on facebook soon!

four more days to playhouse, i'm quite excited! (: 

on a separate notes, MICROBIOLOGY is madness you know. (and i thought m1 biochem was bad enough) 
bacteriology, virology, anti-viral drugs and the list goes on. i just drank a bottle of yakult and the first thing i thought of was Lactobacillus. there are so many tables to memorize ): ami tells me "microb sucks, but you'll survive :)"

YES WE WILL (: 

 this weekend has been one of the best weekends i've had (: 

1. the awesome weather. just when i thought the weather couldnt get any worse (its amazingly hot), its raining!! i love the rain, it brings with it a whole lot of emotions. to sit and just watch the raindrops fall, to see the car wipers wipe it rhythmically, to run and splash in the puddles. but i love the weather that precedes the rain more - the dark gloomy sky, the grey clouds, the wind that carries with it the smell of rain, the leaves rustling. its just therapeutic. i used to imagine myself walking along the streets of london in this kind of weather! i hope i get to one day (: 
but you know, even though rain signifies sadness, tears and disappointment to people, to me, when i saw the rain on saturday, it signified a new start.-a new beginning and a breakthrough. it reminded me of what i was asking God for at the beginning of this week - a sign which i got. 

2. kristie's parents who offered dinner at their place when i went over for tuition last thursday. it was really God sent, i am absolutely sure of that. because it was the day that nobody was home and i had to settle my own dinner. and then her mum offered to send me home since it was late. 

3. cell orientation on saturday. i am really proud of my kids. 

4. a message i got from someone i havent talked to in weeks. 

5. ikea breakfast this morning!

6. fruitcake - someone i can trust with my life. 

7. xue (and kristie) WE SHOULD HAVE DINNER SOON!!

8. _r_i_ and _o_g

9. im (finally) learning to breathe. for real. 

  
i thought this was quite a funny picture, and i think it reflects most of us hahahha (or at least me)
ash i know you will agree with me on this because it applies to US (((: 

  

mulan's i'll make a man out of you is totally awesome!! after hearing pip's choir sing it during playhouse rehearsal on wednesday, it has been stuck in my head since then. i'm really looking forward to full dress rehearsal tomorrow! even though we got kicked out of ke hall because we were using it illegally and now we'll be rehearsing at the science foyer which is 1)an oven literally because it'll be superr hot 2) an open area which mean everyone from anywhere will be able to watch. 

school these days have been great (: i get a lift from jasline to school because lectures start only at ten. this means two more hours of precious sleep yay (: school is getting busier by the day with lectures starting to get un-understandable, theres floorball and playhouse which saps up most of my time but i like it because it makes me happy (i get to exercise from floorball). i still dont like playing on mixed teams though with the guys who 1)corners you 2) smear their sweat all over your hand 3)are very intimidating regardless of whether they are floorball pros or not!). thankfully intrafac's not mixed or else i'll not have joined!

quote of the day - "you have flat feet, i have fat feet, thats why we cant run fast"

   

the reasons for preferring to read the new testament over the old, HILARIOUS. 

on a separate note, i found this (: made my day totally! 

 

    

I can show you the Army (Sung to the tune of - I can show you the world)
I can show you the Army
Marching never ever stopping,
Tell me, soldier, now when did
You last let your brain decide? 

This is our "new" Army
3G, modern, so clever,
But still soldiers, they suffer,
From a bumpy tonner ride

Here's my dream Army
A new fantastic point of view
No big-shots to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

That's my dream Army
That's the Army i wish i knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That nothing's changed and nothing ever will

Unbelievable waste
Two good years of my time, 
Orders blindly following 
Through the endless days and nights

A whole new Army
Don't you dare to order me
So what if you've have three stars
We've come this far
They can't scare me with DB

A whole new army
No mas selamat to persue
We can go anywhere
With time to spare 
Let me join this whole new Army with you

---
our first piece for playhouse choir! yunsong wrote it and the lyrics are awesome seriously. we had so much fun singing it and coming up with the actions for it. rehearsals are going to make us really busy from next week till 7 November. oh yes and costumes are togas made from white cloth of highly suspicious origins. like the funeral palor (whatt?!)

---
on a separate note, i was reading someone's thoughts on my sister's keeper. i havent exactly read the book, but i've heard about it in school during ETHICS as well as from people. its such a sad story ):
and again, the words of my doctor during clinicals last year comes back with vengence - every sad thing you see now's to prepare you for the future. you'll be sad, then question why, then very soon just get detached and become indifferent. 

but we've got to remember, beneath the scalpel we hold lies someone breathing. someone who's just like you and i, someone who has a family and people they love. they're not (in Prof Low's words)" just another patient or my work of art to show off my surgery skills."

today marks the 2 more days before exams! its a mad rush to get everything into my head (last minute cramming really does not work) and it feels SO MUCH like pros in may (how many times have i said this?!) 
for one, i am really looking forward to 6.30pm on friday when papers end. im beginning to feel more and more cut off from civilization/people because of the study break ): like what someone told me, sms has become our sole way of communication with the outside world from all the drudgery and madness of studying. which is quite terrible actually ):

veron's so cute, sent me her personal statement. i really hope she gets into uk/nus (whichever she wants more). 
oh yes this reminds me of saturday, when i was having dinner at the church hawker. she came over and said " michelle, you can have hospital talk with sarah and i the next time" so so cute veron! (((:

today i felt so abcdefg from studying. immuno notes are stacked on one side, patho notes and robbins are splayed across my table, my ethics is buried beneath my info lit notes (which are still untouched). 

SO, i decided to give myself a little break from all that studying (not that i was studying very hard), and i looked through my 4GB worth of photos (: i made a list of people whom i will make an effort to catch up with after CAs (most of whom i actually DUG pictures out here to put). except i dont have one individual photo with gorgeous hair and small eyes respectively (i realised after being friends for ___?!) ))))):
oh yes and ash and wanyi! you are included in my meet up list too dont worry :D
i felt sad actually looking through all the photos, most of which brought back really happy memories (:

OKAY I SHOULD GET BACK TO PATHO NOW ):
friday please dont come so soon)):

( people that make me (:  )

its 1.05am now, i really should be sleeping but i happen to see this on someone's facebook and i thought it was good!
made me almost cry watching it :/
studying is really really madness, so much so that i'm actually less motivated to study. it feels somewhat like in may when we were studying for pros.

asinaoinidbsgibsdg

okay goodnight 

saw this on facebook and i thought it was really good! 
really, everything's all about perspectives. 

took this from someone's blog

A: so you said you were not done with me yet. maybe i didnt think you were that serious, or maybe i was just plain hopeful/emotional, as with everything. i cannot emphasize how many times you made me do this (do you sense a hint of bitterness there?) Love isnt superficial, and you're swallowing me whole. i cant take it

B: if you cant even open your heart to me, how can you ever bare your soul to anyone else?

A: what do you want me to say?

B: nothing.

A: so i needed time?

B: its got nothing to do with time

A: so all this was just nothing? i was doing everything for nothing. 

B: i only want your heart.